I'm in an abusive relationship with Serious Sam

Why oh why do I keep buying first-person shooters, when I suck at them so very, very badly?

Played Deus X. Couldn't finish it.
Played Doom 3. Couldn't finish it.
Played Half-Life 2. Couldn't finish it.
Played Will Rock. Couldn't finish it.
Now I'm stuck on the last level of Serious Sam 2, just about ready to give up.

When will I learn?
Probably around the time Duke Nukem Forever comes out...