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Wizard World Chicago: A View From Artists' Alley
(Warning: No mainstream content in this report. If you're looking for Brian Michael Bendis or Joss Whedon annecdotes, I got nothin' for ya.)


Karen O'Donnell arrived early Friday morning in her shiny new Toyota Matrix to pick me up. Very nice car, roomy and comfortable (and most importantly for our purposes -- lots of cargo space). We then motored over to her parents' house, to drop off her dogs and to meet up with her brother John. Karen's dogs, Patches (a Border Collie) and Loki (a Shih-Tzu) know me well, so we are cool. Her parents' dog, Fergus (another Shih-Tzu) knows me too, but we have a long-standing ritual: As soon as I walk in the door, he barks at me like he wants to kill me. Until I sit down, at which time he jumps up in my lap and starts licking my hands. Non-stop, if I let him. Apparently, I have really tasty hands. Now, John's new puppy Skittles (yet another Shih-Tzu... you might say the O'Donnells are full of Shih-T) hasn't been around me much. She was running around the room, playing with the other dogs, weaving in between my legs, when suddenly she realized, "Hey, I don't know this guy!" Which was her cue to start barking at me, which she did for the rest of the time we were there.

Finally, Karen, John, and I got packed up and head out, MapQuest printouts in hand, our car full of luggage, snacks, and a minicooler full of pop (always bring your own snacks and drinks to a con -- convention food is overpriced and crappy). The trip was mostly uneventful. My mix cd went over better than expected (Karen promised me she'd post a review later). We passed the time gabbing and playing the "In My Pants" game. That's where you look around for phrases on billboards, bumper stickers, etc., and add the phrase "in my pants" at the end. "All you can eat buffet... in my pants!", "Over 60 billion served... in my pants!", "Find Jesus... in my pants!". Ok, so not everyone shares our juvenile sense of humor. Somewhere around Gary, Indiana, we started to hit a lot of road construction and delays, which inspired much colorful profanity on Karen's part. Still, we made pretty good time, and got to Rosemont around 2:30.

We went to check in at the Hyatt, and found out that our rooms were on opposite ends of the hotel. So I came up with the brilliant plan to split up, drop our luggage off at our repective rooms, and then meet back up at the con. The only problem was, I forgot to give them our table number. And they had the boxes with the books in them. So I was standing there at the table like an idiot with a display and no merchandise, while they wandered around the show floor trying to find me. Eventually they located me, and we got everything set up. John took off to hit the dealers' section (John being the "strictly a fan" member of our contingent), while Karen and I manned the table. We were in the new section of Artists' Alley, over near the concession stand -- they took out the wrestling ring from previous years in order to fit in more tables. I talked to Wizard staffer (and Ape Entertainment co-founder) Brent Erwin at one point, and he said they're probably going to add even more artist tables next year, because of the high demand. Not bad for a show that has such a reputation for being heavily mainstream. As usual, it took the crowd a while to filter all the way to the back of the hall, but eventually we started getting a steady stream of passers-by, so I was happy with the location.

Except for one thing: the loudmouth a couple of spaces down from us. All weekend, he was hollering at the top of his lungs at passers-by. "Hi, I'm really funny!" was his favorite pitch line. Other bon mots included, "Buy my comic or the terrorists win!" and the more straightforward "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!". I can't deny the effectiveness of his approach -- he was getting noticed, and his book was selling pretty well. But good God, was I sick of hearing him after three days. (I should point out that the guys on the other side of us, Epoch Comics, were absolute sweethearts, and a pleasure to have as neighbors. Thanks, guys!)

One of the nice things about sharing a table is that Karen and I could take turns wandering around the con while the other one manned the table. Karen was decked out in her usual con regalia -- long black dress, sword strapped to her waist, and big spiky shoulderpads. People are always surprised to find out that yes, she's actually a writer/artist/publisher, not just some "booth bunny".

Speaking of the booth bunnies, they were out in force this year -- models selling their own pictures/calendars/whatever, as well as the decorative ladies who were just there to draw attention to a publisher's comic. As usual, they ran the gamut from genuinely cute to slightly embarrassing to downright creepy. Actually, I saw more attractive ladies in the crowd than behind tables -- I've been noticing more and more women attending over the past few years, which is awesome. Fewer kids than you'd expect, though, and many of those seemed like they were only there because their fan-parents dragged them along. There were a few kids in costume, though, who were really cute. Best costume, though, was the guy in the elaboarate Grim Reaper outfit -- with the stilts and arm extentions (with articulated skeleton hands on the ends), he must've been nine feet tall. He looked awesome, I wish I could've gotten a picture.

It's a tradition for us to have a genuine Chicago pizza while we're at the con, so after the show closed we headed over to Giordano's for some deep dish action. Since it's the closest pizza place to the convention center, it's always packed, and we had a long wait for a table. But boy howdy, was it worth it. Mm-mm, cheesy goodness. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were pretty wiped out. I hung out in John and Karen's room for a while (and watched a little of some hilariously bad Jet Li movie), then headed back to my room and crashed.

Saturday, the show was packed, and even Artists' Alley was jumpin'. I ended up with better-than-average sales, though I still need to work on my sales pitch (it's hard to sum up an anthology comic in 25 words or less...). The ubiquitous Doug (who's last name I'm blanking on... sorry Doug!) and his wife came by and bought some stuff. I call Doug the Patron Saint of Artists' Alley, because he's at the show every year and always buys lots of minicomics. Yay, Doug! I also got repeat business from a couple of older gentlemen, with heavy accents I couldn't place, who wanted to buy any comic with a vampire in it. Last year, I sold them the books with Karen's Vashali character in them, and luckily I had the new Fantasy Theater with Lord Cyprian for them this year. I didn't think to ask them "why vampires?"... with those accents, maybe they're Transylvanian?

I did most of my wandering around on Saturday. We now begin the name-dropping portion of our program.

Lots of breeding going on in the comics community; Carla Speed McNeil had pictures of her new baby, and Joe Chiappetta and James Kochalka both have new kids who are featured prominently in their comics. Carla was sharing a table with Neil Kleid, and they were somewhat chagrinned to be placed in the same row as a bunch of Playboy models (they moved to a different spot later).

Pam Bliss had copies of "Purple Gorilla", her swanky new mini with the hand-silkscreened cover. I always enjoy talking to Pam, because hearing about her plans for her books always gets my own mental wheels turning. She's been investigating some of the new "print-on-demand" services, in preparation for doing a collection of her "Hopelessly Lost, But Making Good Time" columns from Sequential Tart.

One of the neat things about these shows is getting to finally meet some of my online pals in person. Besides Neil, there was Stan Yan, JE Smith, and Dave Hedgecock. I also ran into Eric Mengel, who used to send me fan art back in the day, and is now publishing his own comics. Which makes me feel both proud... and OLD! And veteran fanzine publisher Russ Maheras, whom I know from the Jack Kirby mailing list, turns out to have been a member of the UFO back in the '80s. We chatted about the club, and it sounds like it hasn't changed much over the years. Russ cracked that arguments between fanzine publishers moved in "geological time" compared to the flamewars on the internet. I spotted Heidi MacDonald at one point, but she was talking to someone else and I didn't want to interrupt. When I turned around again, she was gone. Sorry, Heidi!

The other great thing about these shows is running into guys I haven't seen in years. Dave Berns was there, with copies of Gag!, the slick new humor mag he's working on with Barry Dutter. I think Dave snapped a picture of me while I wasn't looking... no doubt it's very embarrassing and will be all over the internet soon. Rick Santman (of "Uncle Harold" fame) came by and announced that he and his long-time partner Cat are finally going to be tying the knot. Congratulations, you crazy kids!

I didn't spend much time in the dealers' section -- I'm not much into toys and other gimcracks, and I don't have the patience to troll through longboxes like I used to. And I only made it to the big publishers' booths to say hi to my pals at Ape Entertainment, and to make my usual splurge at the Top Shelf booth. Chris Staros and Brett Warnock are both swell guys, but I think they've got my number at this point; I can almost see them licking their chops as I approach: "Woo hoo! Here comes Kevin! We're about to make our booth money back!" Brett sees me eyeing that new American Elf hardcover, and says the three words that seal my doom: "We take plastic." Totally worth it, though, and I got stuff signed by Kochalka and Craig Thompson, who, for an "overnight superstar", has got to be the nicest, most down to earth guy imaginable...

...although he's got competition from David Mack. Mack's got every reason in the world to get a swelled head, with all the success he's been having at Marvel, and the big relaunch of Kabuki. But he still comes off as the same serious, soft-spoken, humble guy as when he first started out. I turn into a total drooling fanboy every time I see him, and he's always gracious to a fault.

Big props also to Jim Mahfood, who's hitting it big with his full-size comics at Image, but still does his "40 Oz." minicomics, just because he loves the form so much. Rock on.

A very fun, and tiring, Saturday. After the show, we headed out to look for something to eat. This time we were smart, and found a Wendy's well away from the convention center, where we could relax and decompress without any crowds. When we got back to the hotel, we decided to go check out the screening of the new straight-to-DVD Lady Death movie. I've never read the comics, but I'm always up for some good animation. Unfortunately, this wasn't it. Completely trite, predictable, and blandly animated (Karen called it "He-Man: The Lost Episode"). The script took itself way too seriously, and ended up unintentionally funny as a result... there was a line about how Lady Death needed "a mighty tool to harness her power" that got a huge laugh. It wasn't even fun on a cheesecake level; despite her big boobs and leather fetish gear, Ms. Death came off as strangely asexual. I suppose it's the old American double-standard: graphic decapitations are ok, but God help you if you show a nipple.

By the time that was over, we were totally beat (it's hell being old), so we crawled back to John & Karen's room again to chat and watch a little tv. The Disney Channel was showing Tarzan, which I'd never seen, and which made Lady Death look even lamer (and Minnie Driver's Jane was way sexier). Then it was back to my own room to pass out.

Sunday was slower, although I was surprised to see that there was still a steady trickle of folks walking through the Alley. John continued his shopping spree, picking up piles of books from the 50 cent boxes, but Karen and I were pretty much done. She'd gotten her "holy grail" -- a 12-inch Spike doll, plus some manga volumes she'd been missing. She also spotted a Final Fantasy figure that she really liked, which I ended up getting for her as an early birthday present.

We thought we were in luck when our loudmouth neighbor packed up and left early. Alas, as soon as he split, a half-dozen punks appeared out of nowhere and poached the empty space, and they were pretty obnoxious in their own right. There were too many of them to fit in the empty spot, and they kept trying to elbow their way into our space too. Luckily Karen was guarding the border with her Big Spiky Shoulders. Many dirty looks were exchanged.

By this time, we were all tired, a little aggravated, and pretty much conventioned-out, so we ended up bailing out about a half-hour early. Again, the drive was mostly ok, except for that stretch of construction in Indiana. And the part where we took a wrong exit and got totally lost. Thanks to those two nice guys at the Papa John's pizza place who got us back on the highway! Karen dropped me off back home around midnight, and thus ended another convention adventure.

Finally, here's the list of stuff I bought/got/traded for (in no particular order):

Books:

Complex City: All in a Day's Work (J.E. Smith)
http://www.bettercomics.com

Finder: Mystery Date (Carla Speed McNeil)
http://www.lightspeedpress.com

American Elf (James Kochalka)
http://www.americanelf.com

Grrl Scouts: Work Sucks
40 Oz. Collected (Jim Mahfood)
http://www.40ozcomics.com

Kabuki: Circle of Blood (David Mack)
http://www.davidmack.net

Silly Daddy (Joe Chiappetta)
http://www.sillydaddy.com

Ninety Candles (Neil Kleid)
http://www.rantcomics.com

Carnet de Voyage (Craig Thompson)
http://www.dootdootgarden.com

Same Difference and Other Stories (Derek Kirk Kim)
http://www.lowbright.com

Blind Mice: Book One (Eric Mengel)
http://www.blindmicecomics.com

Ape Omnibus: Vol. One (various)
http://www.ape-entertainment.com

The Wang: The Big One (Stan Yan)
http://www.squidworks.com

Summer Blonde (Adrian Tomine)
http://www.drawnandquarterly.com

Single issues:

Conversation #1 (James Kochalka & Craig Thompson)
http://www.topshelfcomix.com

Purple Gorilla Comics and Stories
The Dream of Bud (Pam Bliss)
http://www.paradisevalleycomics.com

Fortune Cookie Lester #1 (Eric Mengel)
http://www.blindmicecomics.com

Pretty Female Assassin Pixie #0-2(Vince Sneed & John Peters)
http://www.diemonsterdie.com

Late Night Block #2
Rant Comics #3 (Neil Kleid)
http://www.rantcomics.com

Top Shelf Tales (various)
http://www.topshelfcomix.com

Tsunami: The Irresistible Force #1 (Donald McQuay)
http://www.epochstudios.com

Jack Skull (Mark Stinson)
http://www.voidpulp.com

Maelstrom #7 (Russ Maheras)

Bad Ideas #2 (Jim Mahfood, Dave Crosland, & Wayne Chinsang)
http://www.40ozcomics.com
http://www.hiredmeat.com
http://www.tlchicken.com

Finder #33-34 (Carla Speed McNeil)
http://www.lightspeedpress.com

Rummblestrips #4 (Joanne Ellen Mutch)
http://www.rummblestrips.com

The Originals: Special Ashcan Edition (Dave Gibbons)
http://www.vertigocomics.com

Kabuki: The Alchemy #1 (David Mack)
http://www.davidmack.net

Gag! #1 (various)
http://www.gagmagazine.com

1 Block Down #1 (Kieran Carew & Stan Yan)
http://www.duskbooks.com
http://www.squidworks.com

CDs:

Enter (Matthew Mutch)
http://www.matthewmutch.com

Snakes and Ladders (Alan Moore & Tim Perkins)
http://www.stevenseverin.com

Pen Nibs:
G
Maru
Saji (Deleter)
http://www.bluelinepro.com

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jkcarrier

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